#not feeling like I've failed at something before I'm even really conscious

[shirogane-oushirou]

no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.

i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.

[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!

also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]

[acesgroupchat]

so not to give unsolicited medical advice to a total stranger but.... this is me and I have recently found an honest to god life-restructuring solution.

I'm in my 30s and have had circadian rhythm problems literally since I was an infant (traumatized my poor mother lmao). I had long accepted it was un-fixable, but was hoping to fix the random insomnia/persistant false awakenings/sleep paralysis that comes with it, and a family friend recently moved from pulmonology into sleep medicine so I gave her a call.

Her advice: if you can, it's easier and better to adjust your lifestyle than to try to fix your rhythim. You can force yourself to wake up earlier but it will never feel natural. So accept going to bed at 2AM and stabilize there to fix the other problems. To help stabilize, try taking a microdose of melatonin (300 mcg) four hours before your usual bedtime.

I had tried melatonin before and it 1. gave me weird dreams 2. did not do ANYTHING for my sleep schedule, but it turns out most melatonin pills have WAY too much melatonin. So they become sedatives instead of hormones or something. I don't know. I'm not that kind of doctor.

So I ordered microdose melatonin. Had to do it online because none of the pharmacies around me stocked anything less than 1mg. Even the BABY melatonin was 1mg. I am taking 1/3 of a baby melatonin. (who is giving their baby melatonin??)

I then proceeded to do... not what my friend doctor recommended, and took my pill at 8:30PM because I was curious. And went about my evening and then it was midnight and I was... sleepy???? I went to bed??? I slept all night??? I WOKE UP BEFORE MY ALARM????

The past two months have been a baffling experience in sleeping like other people, and squinting suspiciously at myself. Like who even am I if I don't have sleep problems. Anyway, might not work for anyone else, but the pills were $6 for this thing that I really really thought was unfixable.

TLDR: try a 300 MCG (this is TINY. This is less than baby melatonin) melatonin pill four hours before you want to go to bed. Might not work for you but quite literally restructured my life

(the other thing my sleep doctor friend said is that late sleepers are also statistically WAY more likely to be LONG sleepers. If you have "delayed sleep phase syndrome," as it's called, you're probably ALSO someone who needs 9 hours, rather than 7 or 8 like the early birds might. You know... just to make it suck EVEN MORE when we have to short change our sleep to go to work/school)

Bedtime Wizard it takes me a good 2 hours to fall asleep every night with like, every bit of sleep self care stuff I can think of. I just don't naturally get sleepy till 2 am, even if I'm up for a 5 am shift and obviously that's not really sustainable.

What can I do to make myself sleepier? I've tired... Black out curtains, no electronics before bed, silence, white noise, curtains, extreme cold, melatonin, meditation, yoga, working out before bed or in the morning, breathing exercises, no white / blue light at all 2 hours before bed only doing dishes by candle light.

I still can't get to bed before midnight at the earliest and everyone just says try harder. How do you sleep? It's been decades of this and I'm so fucking tired and can't find a job that starts later so I can sleep in.

….my heart bleeds for you, friend. You’re doing everything you can. But there’s legitimate science that some people are just built on different circadian rhythms.

Our bodies have a sense of what times they’d like to be asleep or awake and morning people fucked over all the late sleepers by building the world around their schedule while leaving no room for others.

I’ve seen posts going around that address it but if you can try to get your schedule to where you don’t have to wake up so early it’s your best bet, I’m sorry.

[e-vay]

See, with this newly revealed information for Sage and Aurora's friendship, love it btw, how did Shadow and Aurora's first date go? Who asked who? Where did they go?

I'm so happy to hear you're a fan of the Luminescent Ladies! 🤩 The first date was very casual, but a hit! Shadow is the one who asks Aurora out and they go to a café and end up spending hours together.

Since I've never fully written out the full Shadora story, bits and pieces of it exist here on my blog but sometimes the details change. But here's a very rough version of how I envision their first date going:

(If you're familiar with my story, you can skip the text in blue)

Shadow has spent the last several decades taking odd merc jobs in deep space in the hopes that he'll run into the woman he fell for years ago, but he never finds her. Rouge eventually convinces him to head back "home," and since he's never failed a goal before he decides he has to replace it with a new one: Get to know and enjoy the planet Maria always wanted to visit. So he heads back and that's where he meets Aurora (she does not know him yet, as she meets him later in her life via time travel). He's pretty certain Aurora is the woman who saved him years ago, but since she doesn't seem to know him he thinks maybe she's been reincarnated or something, he isn't sure. He wants to know her better and find out.

Since Shadow's new goal is to better acquaint himself with the planet he abandoned decades ago and since Aurora knows her hometown like the back of her hand, the two decide that she will be his guide (his 'guiding light' if you will 😉 ) around town. (Shadow doesn't need one. He's the ultimate life form; he's plenty fine exploring on his own. But he considers this an opportunity to do some recon to get to know her better). It mostly starts fairly professional even though Aurora does flirt with him a lot (she can't help it, just look at him!) but Shadow quickly becomes fond of her, and he decides he wants to pursue her romantically.

As they are going to bid each other goodbye after one of their tours, Shadow asks "You have a recommendation for every kind of activity in this town, correct?"

A: "Yeah! What is it you're looking for next?"

Sh: "Something... romantic, but humble. Where one might go for a first date."

And at first Aurora is internally thinking "Dang, so he is interested in somebody." But she dismisses that thought because it's none of her business who Shadow spends his time with.

She's gotten to know him a bit by now so as she's pondering ideas she's taking into consideration that he doesn't like loud, busy scenes and would likely enjoy somewhere more intimate, and she remembers him mentioning that he likes coffee. So she suggests this quaint little café that's on the edge of town.

He says "Very well" and surprises her by taking her hand and asking "Would you accompany me there tomorrow afternoon?"

She's shocked but enthusiastically agrees. He offers to "pick her up" at her house so they can go together, but since even as an adult Aurora still lives at home with her parents, she knows that if Sonic answers the door he will be very wary and likely follow them to see what's going on. She doesn't want the date to go awry before it's even happened lol So she convinces Shadow that she'll just meet him at the café.

Aurora is VERY nervous as she has basically no experience dating. She's only had a "boyfriend" once when she was a very little kid and that was really more of just a crush when she was too young to be dating anyway. She also has no idea why Shadow would be interested in her because she thinks she's pretty boring compared to him. (She even briefly thinks "Oh no, what if this is a prank!?")

But upon meeting him at the café he makes it very clear this is a date, bringing her flowers and being a real gentleman by getting her chair for her and all that jazz. Initially she is super self-conscious but Shadow quickly makes her feel really giddy (Ex: SH: "Wow, you look-" A: "Too bright?! I can tone it down! I just have to bend the light to make my clothes darker-" SH: "I was going to say 'lovely'. Please, don't dull your light for me." A: *Can't help but glow more*)

She very quickly gets swept off her feet haha.

They end up losing track of time and even continue to hang out on the outdoor patio after the place has closed and enjoy the sunset together. Before he gets the chance, Aurora over-enthusiastically asks if Shadow would like to have a second date with her and he warmly says yes.

-----

For the record, I'm always open to y'all's ideas of how Shadow and Aurora's first date would go down. If you want to write your own version of their date and it's completely different, I'd still love to read it :)

[stawbeemilk]

⤷ insecurities they think are beautiful; part 2 – hq

✩ characters: various

✩ warnings: none

✩ a/n: i've been super busy with work but i'm finally back! i decided to write a part 2 to this bc i've been feeling pretty down lately. but yeah these are once again all things i personally struggle with or have struggled with in the past ◡̈

⭑ bare face

every time he gets the opportunity to see you without makeup, he swears he feels his heart beat twice as fast. of course he appreciates all the time and effort it takes for you to do your makeup, but he just thinks there's something so intimate about seeing you fresh out of the shower, your hair still damp and your face entirely bare. he doesn't miss the way you tend to avoid eye contact, how you shy away from him and subconsciously try to hide your face, and it makes his heart sink because how do you not realise how cute you are? his favourite part of the day is waking up next to you and getting to see your pretty face, imperfections and all— it never fails to make his heart flutter.

⤷ hinata, fukunaga, iwaizumi, tendou, suna, osamu, ennoshita

⭑ messy hair

he thinks your unruly hair is adorable. he knows that it can sometimes make you feel a little self-conscious, worrying that you don't look presentable with your hair a mess and finding yourself becoming frustrated with it because of how long you spend trying to style it in the morning, but he loves the way it sets you apart from everyone else. he might occasionally tease you about it, but it's always intended to be lighthearted and he never means anything by it. likes to ruffle your hair for his own amusement, making it even messier than it is already and enjoying the way you pout at him and try to smooth it down.

⤷ kuroo, tsukishima, matsukawa, yaku, akaashi, daishou, hoshiumi

⭑ beauty marks

he finds himself drawn to the pretty marks on your face, unable to take his eyes off you because you're so beautiful. whenever he goes to kiss you he always starts off by letting his lips trail over the points of your face where your marks reside, before softly pressing them against your own. he loves how unique they make you look, and he thinks they compliment your features perfectly. it makes him so sad when he sees you trying to cover them up with makeup, and the fact that you don't see them the way he does genuinely hurts him. he loves the idea that your beauty marks are where your lover kissed you the most during your past life, and he likes to kiss them in hopes that he'll be leaving those marks on you in your next life too.

⤷ sugawara, kai, oikawa, tanaka, konoha, kita, hirugami, asahi

⭑ cellulite

he loves to randomly grab your thighs at any chance he gets, enjoying the way the supple flesh feels under his palms. he thinks you look amazing in thigh high socks and cute little skirts, and whenever he sees the small amount of pudge at the top of your socks he'll definitely have a hard time keeping his hands to himself. to be honest he probably didn't even realise you had cellulite until you pointed it out to him, too preoccupied with how absolutely gorgeous you look to notice such a small detail. reminds you that it's completely normal and natural, and will reassure you that he thinks it's beautiful as many times as it takes until you start to believe him.

⤷ daichi, bokuto, yamamoto, kyotani, atsumu, nishinoya, meian

⭑ being thin

he honestly can't understand why you don't like your body, because in his eyes you're literally perfect. he knows that you tend to wear baggier clothing most of the time, the loose fabric swallowing up your figure and concealing the parts you dislike the most about yourself, but he would be lying if he said he didn't love those days when it's really hot outside and you opt for something that's a little more revealing than usual. he adores the way tighter clothes look on you, and the way they show off and accentuate your beautiful figure. he thinks you look so pretty and delicate, and the fact you're smaller than him makes him swoon.

⤷ kageyama, kenma, hanamaki, sakusa, yamaguchi, goshiki, kunimi

⤷ please do not repost my works on any other sites!

[natalyarose]

𝓟𝓲𝓬𝓴 𝓪 𝓒𝓪𝓻𝓭 - 𝒲𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒮𝓅𝒾𝓇𝒾𝓉 𝒲𝒶𝓃𝓉𝓈 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝑜 𝒦𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒜𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 (𝑜𝓇 𝒶) 𝒞𝑜𝓃𝓃𝑒𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃…♡🪽

This reading is likely going to lean towards romantic themes, but there may be messages regardless- we'll see! Pick the picture you feel most drawn to. It can help to close your eyes & visualise purple to connect with your intuitive sense & pick the 'right one'. Since this is a reading intended to reach many people, discretion is advised but I trust that who is meant to find it will. If you are looking for a more specific message, I do offer personal readings (peep my pinned post).

Let's get into it! 💞

edit: these readings ended up being verryyy hyper-specific so I'm not sure how many people will actually end up resonating with them, but I suppose there will likely be at least a message or 2 to take with you either way if this is where spirit has lead you. If nothing did resonate, that's totally okay!

Group 1 ~ 7 of Wands, the Hierophant, the Hermit

~channelled messages

'is this really what you want?'

'trying to keep the peace'

'a charade'

'rushed to the altar' (likely a metaphor)

This may be very specific, I was trying to brainstorm as many possible interpretations as I could.

For this group I'm seeing an energy where there is a person who is in a relationship or pursuing a relationship with someone solely because culturally/societally it is what is expected of them or what has been planned/seeds that have been sown since childhood. Even being rushed into marriage. There is a feeling of being trapped, 'I don't wanna do this'. For some this is the classic scenario of older family members pushing you to get married and/or start a family before you're truly ready.

For others, this is somebody holding onto a current relationship or an ex solely because you honour the commitment and feel under pressure to keep the 'charade' going, but really you are not happy and either have outgrown this connection entirely, or never were totally compatible in the first place. For some, you may be in the 'talking stage' with someone. You may genuinely like them, but feel socially pressured to rush into a commitment.

It definitely seems like if this is your group, you'll know about it because there seems to be a very conscious sense of friction about it all.. like you're grinning and baring it, but really you're gritting your teeth and frustrated. It could be all internal, but from what I'm feeling it definitely seems like there are other people involved and they're veryy 'in your face' about it.

You could be dating someone or agreeing to something just to get others off your back, when in reality you need more time to figure out what you truly want & what happiness looks like for you.

Whatever it is, I'm definitely feeling an array of situations with these themes for this group, but the message here is to not feel guilty about taking a time out. Distance yourself from these pressuring people/energies, and truly take the time to understand what you truly desire. Don't let anybody emotionally bully you into something you don't truly want. There is no shame in taking a different path, and trust that the path you feel most drawn to is the one that is meant for you.

Not all of us are born to fit the mold we were born into and taught, and it's time you stop trying to appease these external people 💟

Group 2 ~ King of Cups, 2 of Swords, 6 of Wands Rx

channelled messages~

'I wasted my opportunity'

'I'm not proud of what i've done'

'I want to make things right'

Group 2, I'm seeing a person who feels that they really did wrong by you. They feel like they've failed you. They're really not proud of it, and they're thinking about the situation a lot. They may be withdrawing their energy from you/distant from you, but it's because they're embarrassed and think you want nothing to do with them (and that might be true). I'm picking up on a looot of embarrassment, a lot of shame over a bad decision they made. They may have been deceptive about something too. Once again, much like the previous pile, I think if this is your group you'll know about it, you likely know who this is & it does feel fairly recent. For some it's more recent than for others- no more than 5 years ago likely. This person is reaaaally in their feelings about it and so deeply ashamed of themselves. Whatever they did to you, feels to them like a 'fall from grace', like even they thought better of themselves. It's like they wish they could give to you, somehow make things right but they know there's nothing they could do that could make it right.

They see you as very strong and feel it isn't fair that you're baring the burden of whatever it is they've done. I'm not sure they'll admit it or not because again, the sense of embarrassment is extreme, but they are really looking at you and acknowledging that you are 'the better person' and deserved so much more. I think they want to say they're sorry, but they're kinda feeling like words aren't' enough to fix it and they've already shown their character to you so you won't care. Yikes, I'm in this person's energy and it's extremely intense, I feel nauseous... the emotions run deep. They really do care about you, but that doesn't make anything they did to you okay. They are so embarrassed and mad at themselves. I can't specify what this person did because it'd be different for everyone & once again, I think if this message is meant for you you'll know. Whatever they've done completely uprooted a foundation, maybe there was a sense of trust together or loyalty and it's just been totally destroyed. This one might be very specific, but I almost feel like whatever they've done has made them a social pariah or would if it was known to the public.

It definitely feels like you have moved on, it still weighs on your heart but you are very strong and focusing on yourself. The message here is basically that this person is feeling very ashamed of themselves and contemplating their actions, while you''re going on with your life and being the 'bigger person'. Whoever picked this group, if someone has hurt you or wronged you in the past and you've been wondering if they feel any remorse about it, this is a sign that they absolutely do- but I don't feel this means you should reach out to them or go back to them. Again, it does feel fairly fresh and recent.

Just know that you are doing the right thing, you are in a much better place than they are, and this is a huge lesson for them. Keep your head up high and let them feel this shame on their own. For some of you guys it feels like you have a whole new life since this person. Keep doing what you're doing, and I'm hearing 'don't look back'... don't feel bad that this person feels bad. Whatever happened was this person's own karmic lesson. Some of you may be needing to hear this because you may blame yourself for what happened or what this person did to you. Know that what you went through is a testament to your own strength 💟

woo.. that was intense...

Group 3 ~ 8 of Pentacles, Knight of Cups, 8 of Swords

channelled messages~

'please don't make me look like a fool'

'going in blind'

'i feel silly around you'

Okay, group 3 is slightly more lighthearted which is nice. There is somebody- if there is a specific person you asked about, it's likely them- who is attracted to you. It's a very romantic energy, like they're literally looking at clouds or the moon and daydreaming about you. It's very sweet. I also see them studying you- but the catch is, they are sooo nervous. It's funny, it's like they're so nervous to the point that they're kinda pissed off both at themselves and at you. Like they're mad that your presence destabilises them so much. They feel very judged by you even though they like you, but in reality it's all in their head? They do want to make a romantic gesture towards you, but they're holding back/staying quiet about it because they're extremelyyy afraid of rejection. Like they're scared to death. I almost feel as though they're getting panic attacks over it ;(

Some of them are acting like they're not interested in you or being snarky with you because they feel so nervous. I think this person has deep insecurities/worries in part because they're placing a lot of value on whether this works out or not. Like this person is in their heads envisioning a whole future with you. It's as though they have almost like a whole meticulous movie in their head.

I do feel like if you were to get into a relationship with this person, it would be really nice at first, but their insecurity issues would play up a lot. I'm sensing a person who doesn't necessarily intend to hurt others, but when they're feeling insecure or embarrassed, they'll hurt someone else or try to make you feel bad to deflect their own feelings. The energy is reminding me of an ex I had- not to make it about myself but just to illustrate the energy I'm getting, here's a storytime~

he took me to the skatepark and he was about to show me all his ~skater trickz~ and impress me, but I think he hadn't done it in a while or something so his skills were rusty, and he started getting really flustered and embarrassed. Suddenly he was trying to pressure me to use the scooter we brought along, and I was like oh no thankyou, I don't feel like that'll end well- but he kept pushing me to do it. I ended up falling over and grazing my knee really badly, and he just laughed at me and kept walking ahead lmao. It was like he was very embarrassed because his plan to initially impress me backfired, so he wanted to make me feel bad too??

Anyway, I don't feel like this person is intentionally malicious but yeah, they definitely have a crush on you and are nervouss. This could just be a warning that maybe at this stage they have some work to do on themselves.

I feel like you are aware of this person. The message is kinda to just sit back, and be in that state of awareness for now. 💟

Group 4 ~ High Priestess, The Star & the 6 of Cups

channelled messages~

'divine timing'

'you will meet again'

'this is more important than you realise'

Ooh- Group 4, one thing I'll say is I'm personally not sure where I stand on soulmates and that type of thing (I believe in them, but I think I'd need to go within and meditate on it a bit to figure out what feels like the 'truth') but this really feels like a soulmate connection. I'm trying to discern the message here, but first and foremost this spread is highlighting a veryy significant connection. If you've been wondering if somebody is your soulmate, or exceptionally spiritually connected to you, or something like that, this is a sign that they are.

I feel like with this connection, you are already aware that it is significant. You may be wondering why this connection feels so intense. This might go over the heads of some/be a bit 'woo', but I do feel like this spread is alluding to someone you have a past life connection to/is in your soul group hence why it feels so strong. I'm not necessarily getting that you're 'meant to be together' or anything like that, because sometimes we do have strong, electric connections with people but aren't necessarily meant to partner up. There is just undoubtedly a very strong spiritual component to this connection that is being highlighted/confirmed to you. If you no longer have contact with this person and often find yourself thinking of them, I do feel this reading is divulging that you will very likely cross paths again with this person some day.

However, I feel like this reading is intended to give you closure more than anything. Whoever this is for, spirit has been seeing you almost be stuck on this person or very mesmerised by their energy (I'm seeing like a black cat in the night staring at something other people can't see and awestruck, like it's seeing a ghost). Spirit wants you to have this information so that you can essentially, move on with your life and focus on your goals a bit better.

You may find this person ends up in your dreams often and all of that kind of thing. You're attracted to them, but beyond that you're genuinely confused about why they keep popping up in your mind/why this feels so heavily significant. This spiritual connection is felt between both of you.

I also feel like this person and the effect they've had on you, is meant to be a catalyst for something else.

In time all of it will come together & make more sense to you, but for now just keep focusing on your goals rather than being transfixed by this connection.

I also feel like outside of this person, trust in divine timing and know that there are some things you should simply leave to the universe rather than trying to understand everything. Hindsight is 20/20 & you'll have it eventually! Enjoy life & focus on your passions now rather than trying to understand it all at once 💟

[queenburd]

it's not going to let me rest until i write about it, so tonight I want to talk about the TSP2 Expo in Ultra Deluxe, and why it's a thing at all, and what it means about the Narrator, and how deeply self-conscious he is.

The Expo is, and I say this without exaggeration, the Narrator's deep, desperate need to respond to the audience and the reviews from the Skip button ending. They say he's not funny; he makes "a whole lot of gags". He's still reactionary, he makes all of this in response to (and in my mind, in the downtime during) the Skip button, and it's the first thing you can find right after the game resets from the Skip button.

He's not over it.

TSPUD in general is in a big way about the relationship between an artist and their audience. (i swear on my life i've written those words before...) it's about how a creator can and does create for themself but does, on a real level, yearn for an audience to understand and appreciate, while also being scared that people wont get it, and also being scared about "needing" a reaction to begin with.

Create for oneself, sure, but you still want people to like the thing you made. You want them to experience it, this thing you put so much time into. You want them to laugh at the jokes, that's why the jokes are there, and you hope they hit right.

Elements of that have always been in TSP but they're at the forefront of TSPUD and especially all the Expo stuff. Even while the Narrator, in Skip button rants, berates the audience for wanting jokes and gags and bits to distract them, he immediately wants to please. He's yearning to be understood, and he thinks if he can just give the people what they want, then surely they'll find the meaning in his work.

And then there's that darn Bucket. And while the Bucket feels like, at times, a stand-in for the Narrator or a way for him to project, it's easier for me to see him trying to frame Stanley's bond to the Bucket as a parallel to his bond to Stanley, instead of the other way around.

Stanley is the thing that is here in this world and story to comfort the Narrator. But Stanley is also the thing that can crush the Narrator's spirit.

In the Press Conference Ending, Stanley's bold new approach to story-telling gets him lauded, gets him praise. In the Bucket version, he tries to make the Bucket understand him through other people understanding him, and it fails. It scans as the Narrator desperately trying to reach out to Stanley, even as he tries to get adoration from an audience. Stanley only has eyes for the Bucket in the Apartment ending; in the end, the Narrator only has Stanley for company, and he on some level wants Stanley to appreciate him. He asks for feedback in the Games ending. And while nothing will ever really make him happy, there, he still asks.

In the end, Stanley's the only audience that really matters. He wants Stanley to like the things he makes.

"Why did I create Stanley? Was I lonely?"

He was. And the audience he's looking for isn't one he can interact with.

TSPUD is about a creator's relationship with an audience, hoping they will play the game, and like the game, and understand the game, so that they'll keep playing. And the game "ends" when the creator says "okay. I think I'm ready to try something new. for real this time!"

And then he gets pulled right back, because the audience response is just so uproarious. How can you move on from a thing that did, on some level, garner you success? Shouldn't you just stick with the thing that made you successful? But how do you make it better, when it felt like a complete work?

When do you get to move on? When do you make that choice? Will the audience understand? Will they follow you? Or do they just want more of the same?

The answer isn't simple.

[georgeweasleyslostearhq]

HOW COME?

Pairings: Fred Weasley x Fem!reader Summary: you go to the Joke shop and take a look around, not realising one of the owners watching you the whole time Warnings: none?

the shop was filled with kids and their parents, looking at everything that piled the shelves, kids wanting to buy everything and the parents shaking their heads at them. you managed to squeeze through and get some room to breath

they'd only been open for a week and it was this packed, it was an understatement to call this shop a hit.

the fluorescent colours were blinding you as you turned to see a boy, his face turning green with his mum by his side.

you looked around, smiling at every item you see. not knowing you were being watched from the second story of the shop.

you always knew the twins were gonna open a joke shop, but now that you're in it, reality hit you, they had really made their dreams come true. and they were successful.

you were friends of theirs, sort of- you weren't in their group but you three definitely talked quite a bit. if there was a project for potions- they would ask for your help and if you were paired up in transfiguration they would do their part.

you made your way over to the area that was glowing with pink and saw a large stand in the shape of flowers, glowing pink and creating little heart bubbles, it made you smile.

you picked up one of the bottles and read the label. you shook your head with a slight laugh as you read love potion in a pretty font.

"I'll give you a discount for that if you want" you heard his voice from behind you

you turned to see Fred with a smile on his face

"but, then again, it would be a useless purchase" he smirked at you, stepping closer, looking down at you

"how come? do they not work?" you asked curiously

"oh they work perfectly, but you're not gonna need it" he shook his head ammused

"and why is that?" you questioned, tilting your head

truth be told, you always had feelings for the boy, he ticked all your boxes. funny, loyal, tall, confident, passionate and witty.

but he was just so popular and almost every girl you know was swoon over him

"why try to use something when it's already worked without it?" he chuckled.

Fred would be an idiot to deny his feelings for you. he never would've told you this in Hogwarts, he never would've been this straight forward with you about this before, because even THE popular Fred Weasley was self-conscious sometimes.

he sometimes just looked at you and felt as though he wasn't enough, that he couldn't give you what you deserved

but now he was a successful business man, making big bucks. when he saw you enter the shop 10 minutes ago, he knew what he had to do, he knew he could give you anything your heart desired, if you'll have him

"how so? last time i checked I've had no guy chase after me" you laughed, putting the bottle down beside you on the flower stand.

you raised your eyebrows at him, waiting for his response

"who knows, maybe he hasn't been around you for a while, maybe he was waiting for you to come to him" he shrugged confidently.

you knew what he meant, he never failed to make flirtatious comments, so you brushed it off, even though the butterflies made their way to your stomach.

"and who might this young man be? I should probably go find him, I wouldn't want to keep him waiting" you smiled coyly

"I can't remember his name, but I can describe him for you, maybe tell you were he is" he smirked, leaning down

"do tell" you leaned in too, eager to continue and get to the point

"well I heard he has red hair, he's pretty tall too, I heard he's 6'3. he's pretty handsome too, I think you'll like him, he comes from a pretty big family, and I'm pretty sure I see him in the shop everyday" he informed you cheekily

"wow, I never knew George felt that way about me, I should probably go find him" you snickered, looking at his annoyed face. you were only teasing.

"George? that doesn't seem to ring a bell, I'm pretty sure his name started with an F" he rubbed his chin, looking deep in fake thought

"wow" you gasped "you're not implying what I think you are, are you Fred?" you gasp in faux shock

"Fred! that's his name, he sounds dreamy, doesn't he?" he clicked his fingers

"you should see him in person" you chuckled, his smirk dropped and instead, a small smile made it's way onto his lips

"maybe you should go and ask him out, I heard his favourite place is the three broomsticks" he replied joyfully

you hummed, thinking for a second "nah, I'll let him ask me since he's so in love with me"

"I don't know, he might be nervous" he tilted his head

"then you should go tell him he has nothing to be nervous about" you leaned in and whispered to him, as if it was a secret. he smiled and looked at the ground, his tongue running along his upper teeth, tapping the wood of the floor with his boot

"will do" he answered, a sweet grin on his face

"you stay right here, I think I just saw him" he pat your shoulder, stepping away from you before coming back a few seconds later

"hello there" he said happily

"hello Fred, fancy seeing you here!" you beamed

"I know, I thought I'd pop in and see how successful the shop is" he looked around, motioning to all the chaos, making you shake your head in amusement

"it's incredible isn't it? I must say I'm very proud of the two" your comment made him blush slightly, and you could tell it caught him a bit off guard

"so, I don't know if you know this but some handsome young bloke came up to me just then and said you would go on a date with me" he responded

"only if you asked" you blinked

"well then, how would you like to go the three broomsticks with me this weekend, Saturday maybe?" he asked you

"your favourite right?" you raised your eyebrows

he gasped "how'd you know?" he placed a hand over his heart

"lucky guess" you giggled

"so what do you say? will you go out on a date with me? a successful businessman, who is -said to be- very attractive" he question sheepishly

"Saturday?" you asked "I don't know I might be busy-"

"-Sunday?" he cut you off

"I was kidding, Saturday sounds perfect" you grinned up at him

"great, perfect. Meet me here at 11- in the morning, or night, is night better?" he rambled quietly

"11 at night? bit late don't you think?" you questioned

"right yeah, morning is more reasonable" he nodded

"well th-" he started but got cut off by George

"-Fred, I need help!"

Fred looked back at his twin and back at you, sparing a kiss to your cheek

"see you then, Love" he winked before rushing to George

--------------------------------------------------

[shepherds-of-haven]

Hi Lena! I remember Chase referring to MC as their 'guaranteed ace in the hole' or something along those lines before they headed out on the bog adventure (sorry, I've forgotten the exact name of the town they get to) - how would the RO's react to a MC who gets uncomfortable when referred to as a fail-safe / guaranteed win / trump card kind of thing, or if MC pulled them to one side and asked them not to say things like that because they weren't comfortable with it / feel they might jinx it? Thanks for all your hard work, the game is amazing!

Hi there, thanks for your question, it's an interesting one!

Blade: I think he would be disconcerted to hear this from MC, and while outwardly agreeing not to say anything like that in the future, he'd feel guilty and conscious of having made them feel the burden of responsibility and over-relying on them too much, so he's probably be a bit distant towards them afterwards (trying to be considerate by not relying too heavily on them/putting pressure on them, which could come off as coldness)

Trouble: "oh shit, sorry, I didn't think about that. But I don't think it'd jinx it, you're MC after all! But I get it, I'll try not to say anything like that again." I think if it were about MC's discomfort, he'd feel a bit guilty, but also like he wished they saw what he saw in them, this total confidence and faith, but he'd ultimately respect their wishes and try not to do anything like it again. If it was more of a superstitious thing, I think he'd challenge them a little bit on it, like "Nah, have more faith in yourself, look at what you did in ____ and _____, after all!" Like trying to hype them up a bit and give them more confidence in a good-intentioned way, which might result in a back-and-forth where he came off as a bit stubbornly asserting his faith in them and wanting them to feel the confidence he feels in them, which could also make MC feel frustrated, like he's not getting it. Ultimately he'd concede and drop the subject, but feel a bit troubled about it after, but not in a way that he'd really articulate unless MC brought it up again!

Tallys: I really don't think Tallys would say anything like this to begin with, because she's already conscious of how it might make MC feel and how she would feel if she were in their shoes, so she tends to avoid making statements like this right out of the gate!

Shery: she'd feel horrifically guilty, lol, and she'd apologize to MC profusely over and over and sort of torment herself about it afterwards, like, I'm just another of the people who depend too much on MC, I never even considered their feelings, I'm a selfish person... So she'd definitely feel a bit subdued by this!

Riel: he rarely makes statements like this unless it's a joke/sincere compliment, so he'd be a bit surprised to hear that MC felt that way. But ultimately he'd just accept it, briefly apologize, and then move on, as with any well-intentioned social gaffe. It makes sense to him why MC would feel that way; it would make sense to him why he would have said otherwise. Very straightforward! It would be pretty much business as usual after that--he's glad that they communicated it to him and then doesn't think too much about it afterward unless they seemed really upset!

Chase: I like to think that he's emotionally perceptive enough to avoid making comments like this to an MC who was obviously uncomfortable with it, but YMMV, obviously, since he says it in the game! If they asked him not to, he'd sort of say something like, "Aw, sunshine, I didn't mean anything like that, you know we all think you're the cat's pajamas, that's all, it's not like we expect you to do anything or be perfect" and would try to explore their feelings about it and why they felt that way. Basically he would just try to clear the air or walk things back to make sure they didn't feel that kind of pressure moving forward or understood that he wasn't implying anything by the statement, then encourage them to just live their life without feeling the burden of these expectations. Then he'd move on and try to be more delicate in the future! Ultimately, he'd get it, he can see how being "the Hero of Haven" would be a lot of pressure!

Red: I think he'd quickly apologize, but would want to know more about why MC was feeling that way, what caused that reaction, etc. So he'd be interested in talking about it with them in more depth. He'd feel bad, of course, that he said something that bothered them, but I think his priorities would be more about understanding their perspective and maybe helping them with their discomfort/complex feelings about the whole thing than dwelling on the specific interaction that kicked it all off, if that makes any sense!

Ayla: I think her initial reaction to this would be defensiveness: she'd be a bit annoyed, because praise and compliments already come so rarely from her, especially being vocalized in front of the subject/other people, so to be "corrected" on something that's already difficult for her would be like, "wtf, I was just trying to be nice, I have confidence in you/I'm telling the truth, it's a proven fact that you're remarkable, what's so bad about that?" Kind of like a, Seriously? I'd kill for people to admire me and have faith in me and actually say so, what kind of person is like, 'Hey, I don't like it when you do that.'? And also hurt because she's trying and doing things that are pretty foreign/unusual for her (being vulnerable and sincere, giving praise), so to be 'punished' for that would make her feel like withdrawing. So outwardly she'd be a bit put-off and shirty about it, like "Okay, sorry, I won't say it anymore." *obviously disgruntled, not gracious and understanding* But I think after calming down or hearing someone else advocate for MC (like Briony going, "Well, I get it... can you imagine if you felt this pressure to save the day every time? MC's just a person, after all..."), it would click for her, she'd feel a bit bad about it, but she wouldn't feel the need to pursue it or apologize further and would just comply with MC's wishes moving forward!

Briony: she'd pretty much be the same as Shery, writhing in guilt and feeling horrible that she didn't consider MC's feelings more, but after they talked about it and she profusely apologized the first time, she'd be able to move on so long as it didn't seem like MC held any hard feelings or awkwardness about it! Ultimately she'd be glad they said something and would be extra vigilant both about herself and about correcting others if they happen to say things like that around MC! Like she'd start feeling protective and maybe over-conscious of MC's feelings!

Lavinet: she would be similar to Riel: because she meant it as praise, she would be surprised to hear that they found it off-putting or intimidating, but she would simply apologize and then move on without doing it again; it wouldn't be something she really dwelled on unless it seemed like it was a really big deal to MC, in which case she might discuss it with them intermittently moving forward, wanting to understand the exact feelings and reasons behind their feelings and wanting to encourage them in resolving them!

Halek: he's pretty much in Tallys's camp: because of his position in life, he'd be more conscious of not saying stuff like this in the first place, because he understands the pressure those kinds of expectations come with, even if they're reverent and well-intentioned! If he slipped and said stuff like that as a joke, then was asked by MC not to say it, he'd apologize and commiserate with them, then keep it in mind moving forward, being careful not to do it again!

[punkinspice]

what r your shadow headcanons?! 👀

👀🖤 Ooooo oh my gosh!!! Thank you for asking op! A lot of them I have are kind of inspired a looot on the future AU I have, and starts from basically the beginning of his life to the potential end... so let's see where this goes...

(Disclaimers: This is written like a week before SXShG comes out so until we learn the new crazy information that I'm sure is going to rock all of our headcanons and theories for better and the worse, this is what I've got for now. Also I base this all on the two world theory, of Earth and Sonic's world being separate universes but currently are being brought together with Chaos Energy and that perhaps a lot of the Earth's magic/energy/gods have somehow been awoken with Chaos Energy, which may have caused the worlds to be open to each other... if that makes sense...😅)

ANYWAY, LETS GO

-Gerald/GUN had been messing with the possibility of interdimensional travel for a long time and were eventually able to tap into Chaos Energy, which allowed for the ability of Gerald to be able to do research on Sonic's planet, and for GUN to find and collect the chaos emeralds.

-Gerald needed dna from the (at least what he thinks) is the local chaos emerald's planet because any of the human or animal dna that they've been using back on earth isn't strong enough to withhold the energy of the emeralds and falls apart.

-Shadow is a hedgehog possibly because the part of the planet Gerald was researching was an ancient burial ground of a people who worshipped the Chaos Emeralds and figured it would be easiest to abstract ancient alien hedgehog dna from bones (Jurassic Park Style) rather than upsetting the rest of the planet because who knows what it could unleash, and the last thing GUN needs is ANOTHER alien invasion.

-Speaking of Aliens, the Black Arms were brought in as both a way to appeal Doom's promise of invading again, but also because Gerald needed something genetically stronger that would be able to withstand chaos energy.

-Shadow was supposed to be the start of an underground program of developing super soldiers for GUN but obviously due to the raid, that was shut down.

-We know that chaos is power, power enriched by the heart, and part of the reason so many experiments failed was because the energy could not properly bond without a positive influence, hence the need for Maria's pure heart and soul.

-The Black arms blood only acted as a bonding agent for the chaos energy to sustain the life form they were creating.

-Gerald incorporated the aspect of putting Maria's Soul/heart into Shadow behind Doom's back, and in so doing saving Shadow's life from being able to be completely overtaken by Doom. (Maria helped save his life too 🥺😭)

-Shadow has the same amount of Chaos Energy coursing through his body as an actual chaos emerald.

-His inhibitor rings act like both a seal and storage of his chaos power. Without them the energy would burn away to quickly to be able to regenerate and it would eventually kill him. Eggman is the only one so far known be able to rebuild perfect replicas to replace them (Heroes)

-He uses his inhibitor rings to store chaos energy to use as spears/snapping/skating etc.

-He skates using excess chaos energy that he burns off.

-Due to having so much chaos energy in him, he doesn't get as cold as easily or quickly and can go a little longer without eating. Though if he has recently done a chaos blast or gone super, he definitely notices a drain on his energy and gets really hungry.

-Shadow was only a few years conscious/old on the Ark when the raid happened.

-Shadow is currently deep in his grieving process, but doesn't even know he's grieving. All he knows is that he feel safer and more in control when he's alone and isn't really able to explain or understand why he's so angry.

-Shadow is deeply afraid of accidentally hurting those around him and self-isolates as a way to protect them.

-Sometimes he can feel the amount of energy coursing through him and it scares him. He doesn't fully understand how powerful he really is, or what the limits to his power even are.

-Despite his friends constantly telling him otherwise, Shadow thinks that he really is nothing more than a conscious weapon and doesn't deserve to be anything more.

-He deals with a looooooot of self loathing and survivors guilt, that often comes out as pride and bravado.

-He gradually gets his memories of the events of SA2 after being rescued in Heroes, and was a little hurt at first as to why Rouge hadn't told him everything initially... They had a long complicated talk about it, but soon Shadow realized that how would you even begin to tell someone the things that happened to him.

-Chaos energy eventually will heal his brain of the damage done from the brainwashing and manipulating that Gerald did.

-He is a naturally quiet, reserved and introverted person, but unfortunately the trauma he's suffered kicked it all into overdrive and now socializing is exhausting and awkward.

-Being in cities for too long overwhelms him.

-He is incredibly intelligent and a brilliant strategist, but technology and computers often stump him and it frustrates him (bless)

-Babies and chao are strangely drawn to him. I think they're able to instinctually sense the inherently calming and healing aura he has, and was originally intended to have. This does confuse and fluster him greatly. 😂

-As Shadow heals and moves on he gradually gets more of a sense of humor. It is a dry sense of humor though, and he can get very very sarcastic.

-Rouge was the first person he really allowed himself to get close to or trust himself to be safe around.

-He eventually goes back to live in Sonic's dimension and to suddenly be in a world where everything fits him was a weird adjustment to get used to.

-Shadow sleeps on his back, and only starts to snore when he feels safe and calm.

-Shadow does age, but he ages very very slowly. (think Logan/Wolverine) There will eventually come a time where he notices that he's stopped aging alongside his friends.

-Sometime in the future, Shadow will discover that his powers also have the ability to heal. And he eventually is known to be as great a healer as much as he is a warrior.

-Due to his healing abilities it will lead him to the Master Emerald where Knuckles helps teach him how to meditate and be able to connect with that deeper spiritual aspect that there is to chaos energy.

-He guards the Master Emerald for a time after Knuckles and everyone else is eventually gone... both as a sense of respect and purpose but for solitude and space to grieve again.

-He will have to watch all of his current friends die... but he does become a guardian and a stable rock of guidance and wisdom that the future generations can depend on.

-Shadow is Silver's great great great (idk how many greats) grandfather, and got to see him be born, but due to a calamity threatening the planet was unable to be there for him to help him grow up.

-Shadow and Omega both go out in a blaze of glory together as companions and dear friends as they save the world together to give it a second chance to survive...

AND THAT'S ALL I HAVE FOR NOW... I'm sure I'm forgetting some and will have more come to me later, but I'll start with these.

G o s h so much of Shadow's story is just... so sad. There's so much healing, hope, love and purpose in there too... but at the cost of great sadness... and I think a lot of us can relate to that in deep personal ways. And I think that's what makes Shadow so important and special to us as a character.

[mywritingonlyfans]

Adorable obsession. /// Graham Dunne X Reader.

prompt: he shows up to see you at every show possible of your band, until he take the courage to ask you out.

words: 1,1K.

warnings: none.

You were in the middle of a soundcheck with your band when you noticed a tall, lanky guy standing in the back of the room. He had a messy mop of brown curly hair and a slightly scruffy beard, but his bright blue eyes stood out against his clumsy appearance. He was watching you intently, and you couldn't help but feel a little self-conscious under his gaze. You were sure that if one day from now someone asked him what you looked like, he'd know how to describe you in detail, in the most sinister way. 

 As you played through your set, you found yourself stealing glances at him as well. He wasn't like the other guys who came to your shows, who were mostly just there to drink and pick up girls. And how did you know that? Well, you've noticed him hidden in the audience more than once. There was something different about him, something quite genuine.

 After the show, you were packing up your gear when you saw him approaching you. "Hey, great set," he said, his voice a little nervous, eyes right at the floor. Still, like a gentleman, he helped you to keep everything. 

 "Thanks," you replied, trying to hide your surprise at his sudden appearance. As you pointed out, you'd expect to see him at the band's shows, and yes, you've actually gotten used to looking for him among people, but he was quiet and focused on his own shoes, you didn't think he'd talk to you.

 "I'm Graham," he said, extending a hand. His eyebrows arched, eyes finally on you, and you broke into a tiny smile.

 "Nice to meet you, Graham. I'm–."

 Interrupting you, in a rather adorable way, he was even polite to shut you up, quite unbelievable, and added that he knew your name. "I've been coming to your shows for a while now, y’know," Graham blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I think you're an amazing keyboard player. And, uh, I think you're really cute too, if you allow me to say."

 You raised an eyebrow, trying to hide your amusement. "Is that so?"

 "Yeah," Graham said, nodding eagerly. He understood her irony, but remained undaunted. "I was wonderin’ if you wanted to grab a drink or something sometime?"

 You couldn't help but smile at his earnestness. "Well, I don’t go out with fans," you said, reaching into your coat pocket and pulling it around your shoulders. You felt stupid, yet you couldn't trust every pretty face you saw in that business, let alone men.

 “Oh, sure, thing,” he became like a tomato, all lost in his feet. “Appears to be unethical, I understand.” And in a jolt of confidence, he went grinning with teeth and cute dimples showing, and this time, looking at you, he asked. "Wait, so you've noticed me here before?" He thought about adding that he was there for you, but besides that being too much, it would be something you obviously already knew.

 “Hm, maybe, I think,” you failed to sustain your character and ended up with hot cheeks and sweaty palms. He realized, consequently, the insecurity he had before you were gone. 

 Nervously, you reached into your pocket, pulling out a loose cigarette and fumbling for the lighter. He had spent countless hours daydreaming about how he could talk to you, organizing plans and possibilities in his head, which now seemed almost divine as he looked at you standing there in front of him. He suddenly remembered that he had a lighter, something he had only kept on him because he had imagined that if he ever talked to you, you might need it. He had also written his number on a clean napkin, with countless plans on how to use it, and now was the moment to put them into action.

 He came closer to you, feeling your scent engulf him completely, and lit the cigarette in between your fingers, he did make it extra, by holding your hand in his. It was not awkward; it felt quite natural, and he hoped you felt the same. He whispered a small "I've got you, honey," before walking away, leaving you feeling comforted by the lingering scent of mint that he had. Up close, his eyes were even bluer than you had thought, and you couldn't resist the urge to reach out and touch his pretty curls.

 As you were lost in your thoughts, a laughing boy suddenly interrupted you. He had his hands in his pockets and seemed pleased to have found Graham with you, but he claimed he needed to take Graham away. You smiled politely, nodding at him sympathetically, and he did the same before leaving without another word.

 Left alone again, you felt a sense of loss creeping in that quickly replaced the comfort of Graham's presence that had been there before. You couldn't help but hope to see him at the next show.

 Still feeling haunted by the night, as soon as you got home, your heart picked up speed, and the adrenaline seemed to kick in again. In your pocket was a crumpled napkin, which you found yourself curious about even though you had almost thrown it away. As you read the blue ink on it, you smiled seeing Graham's number followed by a message, "For the most talented keyboard player with the most striking eyes I've ever seen, here's my number in case you want to give me a chance!" This time, you didn't resist, dialing his phone number as soon as you finished reading it. You barely let him speak before you said, "You have a date with me tomorrow. You better be there, Graham."

 His face lit up and it was like you could feel him through the call. He was actually smiling, jumping up and down with the phone in his hand as Camila and Warren cheered for him. You could hear everything and he didn't care, it was how he genuinely felt. "Yeah, tomorrow works great. Just give me the name of the place and I’ll be there waiting for you, my girl." You laughed at that, warming his chest up.

 As the call broke apart, you couldn't help but feel a little giddy. There was something about Graham that was different from anyone else you had ever met, you could be wrong, but you had to get to explore it. You couldn't wait to get to know him better.

...

i have a fanfic with karen posted, it's on my blog in case you're interested in reading it!

[silverskye13]

Hello! I'm one of your readers and admirers, been sending asks before too - it's just the topic makes me self-conscious.

You're writing very long and articulated things, with intricate details, and you're pretty darn good at it - so I believe you can give advice here. Do you ever feel discomfort/anxiety about writing long works in form like "it will take me ages to do it, and if I can't finish it will haunt me forever"? Do you have any methods of fighting it?

Oh hmm. Well! I used to have those anxieties yes. I haven't had them for a while. My method of fighting it is less of a fight, and more of a,,, change in perspective I suppose.

So, I don't go into any project assuming I will finish it.

Now, important note: I go into every project wanting to finish it. Most things I work on, especially long form things, have a finish line. I know generally how I want the story to go, and why, and I go into it knowing that it will change and evolve as the project continues. The finish line might get farther away, or rarely, closer, if I cut things down.

But I've stopped assuming something I start will ever get done.

This does a few things for me. Firstly, it takes away the guilt of "but if I don't finish! I won't be able to live with myself!" My goal was never to finish, so there is no guilt attached to not finishing.

[Well, that's a lie. I do feel a little guilty about unfinished projects, but it's "I should get back around to that someday" guilt, and not "this is a personal failing that is indicative of my character" guilt.]

The other thing that not starting a project purely to finish it does, is it recontextualizes your goals and rewards. The good feelings you get from working on the project, and making your shorter term goals, becomes the motivation to keep working on it, as opposed to a much farther away and more ephemeral end goal of "done someday."

If you have already made the goal of "done someday" on a long term project, and you have pinned your sense of success to it, the best advice I personally can give, is to unpin your sense of success from that far away point. That point might be years away, and while some people can definitely wait years for payoff, I, personally, can't. I need something closer and smaller. Otherwise I get worn down and tired, because I am slogging on something very emotionally taxing that isn't paying me back in any way. Why would I do that? That's very rude to myself! We don't suffer for art around here!

I would recommend instead, picking a closer point. If you're writing a long fic, pick a scene you really want to reach. [I pick several. If you ever hear me ramble about "story arcs" it's a product of this.] If you're making a comic, pick a scene, chapter/page number, or character introduction you're excited for. If you're making a video game, pick several programming or story milestones, etc.

Base your success on reaching those milestones. You will get your dopamine rush from Doing The Thing. Congratulate yourself! Bask in it! Celebrate the small milestone the same way you would the finish line. Buy a favorite treat, take the weekend off to rest, gush about it to your friends. It might feel silly the first few times you do it. That's fine! You're training your brain to appreciate milestones. Your brain will figure out what you're doing and get with the program.

Aside from milestone goals, I think it's also good to remember, a project is never abandoned if you don't want it to be? Like, really embrace that idea. Unless some fortune teller has divined the exact date and time of your death, for all you know, you have ten, twenty, hell, fifty years to finish your project. Long Term Project has no end date [unless you are professionally publishing something with a company, in which case, you have negotiated your end date with a client.] You can say "I'm tired of this for now", drop it and come back later. You aren't a failure for needing a break -- even if that break spans years, and you pick up 3 more long term projects in between. I have been working on a webcomic for 3 years now. It has 30 pages, and I take 6 months breaks in between working on it. I don't see that as a personal failing.

I don't know, I feel like this is getting a bit incoherent. Long story short: most people's anxieties about long term projects [and their ability to finish them] have to do with being deeply unkind to themselves, I feel. You aren't a publishing house. You aren't a TV show producer. You aren't a film director. You are one person, working on something potentially massive. Recognize that will take time. Recognize taking your time isn't a bad thing. Recognize you might need to take breaks -- long ones. Recognize that you need sustaining goals that are small yes, smaller than finishing, but also deeply, deeply important. And also recognize if you can't finish your long term project? That's not a moral failing. You're allowed to walk down the road with an idea, love it to bits, and then change enough as a person through the process, that it no longer serves you. And then you can drop it.

Do not make the end goal of a long project your finish line. If you do, every project you don't finish is a disappointment. Make finishing the project the happy accident that came from working on it long enough.

[rumbelleshowdown]

-

Author: pomegranate seed

Group: D

Prompts: True Love’s Kiss. Skinny-dipping, secret relationship. Voyage.

-

Two Tickets to Paradise

“Actually, I've got something that might interest you,” detective Weaver said. 

Lacey stopped sipping her beer, her eyes glowing with interest as Bob Seger droned from the tinny speakers overhead. Setting the bottle down on the sticky bar table, she sucked her teeth. “Like what?”

He wet his lips as he reached into his jacket for the envelope, relishing the curiosity written all over her face. He waited until she was practically squirming before setting it down in front of her. “Like this.”

Lacey furrowed her brows and studied the envelope. Her mouth twisted into a smile she was trying and failing to suppress before a loud about escaped her. “...Bon voyage?” She read aloud. “What the hell is this?”

Detective Weaver sighed, his shoulders slumping in a crestfallen slouch. “Tickets for a cruise,” he muttered, slapping his hand over them so he could drag them back across the table and away from her scrutiny. 

“No, hang on!” She laughed, swatting his hand away. “I'm still looking!”

Weaver grumbled and let her take them back. Lowering  his head in the dimly lit venue, he could feel his cheeks warm with embarrassment. What the hell had he been thinking? Asking Lacey French to go on a cruise with him?

“Where did you even get these?” She asked, still giggling. “I didn't realize you knew how to book shit like this. Did your grandson have to help you out?”

Weaver rolled his eyes. In truth he was beginning to get more than a little self-conscious about his age–but she didn't need to know that. After all, he hadn't caught Lacey French's eye by being meek and self-conscious. He'd done it by playing the bad cop who didn't give a damn if she liked him or not–so long as he got the information he was looking for.

“They were a gift from the precinct,” he muttered. “For thirty years on the job.”

Lacey snorted. “ Dude, you really need to fucking retire.”

He narrowed his eyes at her, putting on his best scowl. Sure, he could retire. Gods knew he should. But for what? His blasted job was all he had.

Well–his blasted job, and these clandestine nights spent with his former suspect-turned informant-turned… lover? Girlfriend? 

Gods, fifty-six-year-old men don't have ‘girlfriends’, Weaver scolded himself. And whatever the fuck this was, it was a violation of protocol. A conflict of interest. But the fact of the matter was that at the end of his shift, Lacey French was the only person he wanted to go to, to talk to, to be with.

“Are you interested or not?” he snipped. “Otherwise I'm giving them to Hen–”

“Of course I am!” She said, looking the tickets over again. “There’s free alcohol!”

Weaver shot her an admonishing look. He hated the water, hated boats and waves and salty air–but something about the idea of ten days alone with Lacey to do nothing but talk and drink and fuck in relative peace had called to him. 

Pathetic old bastard. Chasing a pair of nice legs in a short skirt.

He ought to be giving the tickets to Henry and that new wife of his–what was her name again? Jocelyn? Jessica? Julia?

Oh, who was he kidding? He and Lacey French deserved each other. They'd down their drinks, share a fumble in the bathroom or the back seat of his car, and then take things back to his miserable flat, where he'd wake up the next morning alone.

“Whale has an amazing video of Ruby doing drunken karaoke to Pat Benatar from the cruise they took last year,” Lacey snorted. “She was doing the little shoulder jig and everything.”

“Well,” Weaver said, smiling as he watched her sip her drink. “That could be you–” he winked, “showing a captive audience your best Joan Jett performance.”

Lacey glanced up at him with a sly grin. “Fuck off,” she said, reaching across the table to give his elbow a shove.

He pulled away before she could reach, and her crystal blue eyes sparked with mischief. Weaver could feel his smile widening, his chest swelling with warmth, and gods–he really did love her, didn't he? 

That was the crux of the thing. If he wanted to be with her–truly–he needed to leave his job. But it was a fool's wager to think that Lacey French–who made a joke out of everything–actually returned his feelings. Tilly would tell him to just talk to her about this. He knew that much. But he also knew that Lacey would laugh and make a comment about him going all soft on her before changing the subject.

She couldn't possibly be content to keep meeting in secret at odd hours in places like this though, could she? Gods knew, he wasn't.

He picked up his glass and took a long sip, as if it were large enough to hide himself behind.

“I'll tag along,” Lacey decided at last. “If–” she stuck a finger up, “You promise to sneak out to one of the pools at night and go skinny-dipping with me.”

Weaver almost choked on his whisky. “You want me to commit public indecency?”

Lacey took a swig of her beer before peering over the rim of the bottle at him. “You don't give a damn about decency and you know it,” she challenged.

“No one needs to see my bare arse, Lace,” he dismissed with a scoff. “There'll be enough people gagging already from seasickness.”

“Oh, come on!” She laughed. “It’s a great arse.”

He tried to ignore the flash of heat in his cheeks. This was, of course, what he liked about Lacey French. The way she wasn't afraid of him, the way she teased him, pushed him out of his comfort zone, broke up his otherwise miserable routine.

Surely that was worth pursuing, wasn't it? 

He didn't expect that they'd share true love’s kiss or anything on a god-forsaken boat in the middle of the Atlantic–but maybe the chance to be with her without all the usual distractions would make that question a little easier to answer. Maybe she'd give him some kind of sign that she felt about him the same way he felt about her.

Weaver knocked back the last of his drink and wet his lips. “You, Miss French… have a deal.”

-

[eijiroukiriot]

why do you see bkg as trans?

i've had this ask sitting in my drafts since like august BECAUSE i knew if i did the question justice it was gonna get VERY long and pretty personal - if i'm gonna talk about it then i gotta talk about it in all earnest. and you've given me the floor to talk about it. so!!

at first i had these typed out as two separate points but i think they go a lot more hand-in-hand than that, so to start - when i think about my own gender and why i can't bring myself to identify fully with womanhood a lot of it is because there's something that feels so free about masculinity. mostly just like because of womanhood on a societal level a lot of my experience as a girl forever has been "you need to think about how your existence makes other people feel. you really need to present yourself in a way that's pleasant for other people. the way you look, the way you talk, the way you conduct yourself - people are entitled to having a say in all that. and if any of that isn't living up to the way it's supposed to be, then that's a fault of yours." here's a vent post i made when i was 17:

which is mostly really superficial examples of the suffocating expectation of girlhood but it's also so blatantly about bkg. in the moment my thought process was more like "i'm so deeply unsatisfied with so many parts of being a girl, it sounds like there'd be so many less people to answer to if i were a boy" but it's funny reading back on it bc it's like "dude are you just talking about bkg". but then who's a better example of choosing to stomp through life exactly as loud and rude as he wants to be without answering to anyone than bakugou katsuki!! honest about his thoughts in any case!! free to speak as bluntly and rudely as he wants!! never putting up with shit that makes him feel unlike himself!! walks with big wide steps and wears stupid baggy clothes and doesn't care what people have to say about it and doesn't feel worse if they do disagree. grins crazy blasting himself through the air. fights with big windup swings and shouts all the while. huge huge presence and so unafraid to assert it. named himself great・explosion・murder・god dynamight. i think i project a big sense of defiance onto bkg's character because everything he is just feels so defiant to me. there's just a lot that i admire about boyhood and bkg feels like the embodiment of it to me

and then you've got bkg himself, who like- isn't even fulfilling the "doesn't feel worse about himself if he is genuinely not the greatest or kindest" part of it!! bkg's character is so centered around figuring out who he is and like navigating through the mortifying ordeal of existing and not actually liking the person you are and trying to figure out where to go from there- he really thinks he has so much to prove...both in the sense that he DOES want to project this big image and also that he really can't cut himself a break. and then he freaks out when he's not becoming the person he wants to be and picks a fight with deku over it and totally breaks down and picks himself back up and forces himself to seriously rewire the entire view of himself and others that he's had his entire life - he's 16 - and goes to all this teeth-clenching effort to be a better person and has highs and lows and wears himself raw and then comes back to life. well the quality of the later part of his arc is very debatable. but his character is so about just figuring out who he is and kind of failing at it a lot of the time. and then eventually figuring it out and getting confident and stable in it. he makes friends who rib on him because they know he's got a good heart under it all, and moreover he lets them. he gets good at shouting something back and carrying on. you see the amount of conscious thinking it takes him to take some of those steps - rethinking his relationship with deku, the god am i really fucking doing this scoff before he gives kirishima back the money - but a lot of it is just steady growth. growing up. genuinely getting more comfortable and more okay with himself over time. but there's also all these little failures along the way because he's just a kid figuring it out, and also genuinely this anger towards the world for not understanding it when he does assert himself (sports festival....where deku also specifically notes that he knows he's not as confident as he wants to be!)

i haven't really closely reread bnha in a sec so a lot of this is probably a lot of projecting (i know it's undeniably influenced by the picture of bkg i have in my head) and i probably also didn't really clarify anything, because in the end everything bakugou is feels very trans to me. "the image you have of bkg katsuki in your head can actually be so personal" etc. digging into my archives i found this post from years back where i described basically the same stuff about bkg being a teen figuring himself out and saying "so yeah he's trans" without being able to hit it more on the head. kirishima is my favorite most special boy of all time, and i love him in so many ways, but bkg is my cringefail stinky teen boy in w the unshatterable determination to actually go MAKE himself the person he wants to be, no matter how many missteps he makes on the way there. it brings me a lot of comfort to imagine him being a self-made man as a part of the because gender is so confusing and questioning can be so intense. i'm 23 and i'm typing all this about an anime boy so i hope it's evident what a soul-bearingly honest answer this is bc otherwise oh haha embarrassing. but yeah i love that kid. i hope every little victory and day where his voice sounds good to him and glance of his top scars in the mirror feels like one of the high points on the journey

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

@cullen-blue23

I’ve had this headcannon for a really long time: Wen Ning can sing really well (even now as a fierce corpse), but is really shy about it because Wen Ch*o and Co used to make fun of him for it. I really wanna see the juniors (+wangxian potentially) catch him when he’s really in the zone. He just turns to see a small crowd of awed teenagers (Once again I am here with my Wen Ning appreciation agenda)

+

🧟🎶❤️‍🩹(he can sing really well, but is self conscious cause he used to get made fun of. He sings a lullaby for the kids after a bad night hunt. It worked wonders.)

These prompts are super similar so I've decided to combine them! One is from the fluff prompts, the other is from the emoji event. I hope it was worth the wait <3

Uncle Ning, sing to me too!!

The juniors huddle together in front of the campfire, quieter than usual. Their expressions are haunted, still thinking over the happenings in their night hunt, the way they fell victim to those vicious ghosts, the feeling that they were going to die by their hand. The images the ghosts materialized for them to see, the paralyzing fear, the way their bodies shook with the adrenaline of wanting to fight for their lives but being unable to.

Wen Ning showed up at the perfect time, saving their lives and destroying those ghosts - but what if he hadn't? How could they ask to be allowed to night hunt alone if they nearly died in their first mission?

Wen Ning hands each of them a pastry he got from his quick trip to the nearby town. They thank him and bite into the treats, the sweet taste distracting their bad thoughts momentarily. While they eat, Wen Ning stokes the fire, and checks over the surroundings for any dangers.

"Uncle Ning... tell us a story?" Sizhui asks, and he looks so much like his younger, scared self in the Burial Mounds that Wen Ning almost feels life beat into his heart.

"What story would you like to hear?"

"Something nice..."

Wen Ning thinks over a few seconds before taking a seat next to the kids. "When I was little, I used to be very scared of the dark. To be honest, I was scared of everything, but the dark especially. So my mom, who was a cultivator, invented a lullaby that had a protection spell in it. She'd sing it to me every night and so I stopped being afraid of the dark... of anything really."

"What happened to her, uncle Ning?" Jingyi asks as he finishes his treat.

"She became ill and died shortly before the Sunshot Campaign started. A degenerative disease..."

"Oh, I'm sorry..."

"It's alright, it's been a long time ago... But... I think my mom's lullaby could help you guys... want to hear it?"

"Mhm!"

And so, Wen Ning closes his eyes, and he imagines his mom's kind smile and her beautiful voice, the melody, the soft words of her song. He's both her and himself, 5 years old and 35, parent and child all the same, and if he could, he'd cry.

Sleep, my baby, the stars shine for you

The sun and the moon and the fireflies too

My love will reach you like the sky meets the sea

And they'll watch over you, and I'll join you soon...

It's been so long since he's thought of this song, since he's thought of his mother, since he's sung anything. He hums the melody, and sees himself fall asleep on his mom's chest, with Wen Qing by his side, when the world was still beautiful and alive. When they all were.

Wen Ning opens his eyes, and he's met with the juniors' awed expressions. The fear is now replaced with wonder, and their faces no longer bear the aftermath of a terrible night hunt.

"Uncle Ning... your voice..."

"I know it isn't very good-"

"It's amazing!" Jingyi intervenes, "Can you sing us some more songs?"

"You...like it?"

"Of course! You're so talented! You could make a fortune!"

Wen Ning feels like crying, though he can't anymore. He used to be made fun of, be called all sorts of unkind names whenever he tried to sing - so he stopped. He hasn't sung anything at all long before he even died. Wen Chao would call him a failed circus worker, a worthless artist, whatever he felt like - and now Wen Chao is dead and these kids like him. Like his singing, his stories, his guidance, trust him with their lives.

Wen Ning sings to them all the songs he can remember.

He wishes Wen Qing could hear him too. She used to love it when he sang to her.

[linnieshifts]

🍓FAQ🍓

🍓 How I Discovered Shifting:

Heard about it through Tiktok in 2020 and pretty much immediately passed it off as bullshit. Didn't even look further into it.

Then in Summer 2023 I again saw something about it on Tiktok and this time decided to investigate further. Saw other people on other social medias discussing it and decided I had nothing to lose and a ton to gain by trying so I did a lot of research (on various platforms, tiktok, youtube, tumblr, reddit and so on.)

I was still kinda iffy about it but saw that you really had to believe and give a genuine effort otherwise it wouldn't work so the first time I tried I really affirmed a lot that I would shift and that I would believe it.

Was not immediately successful but DID have symptoms the first time I tried. While symptoms don't actually indicate whether or not you'll shift (really more a side effect of your physical body falling asleep while your conscious stays awake), it showed me that people at least were telling the truth about experiencing the symptoms which was all I needed to continue.

🍓 My First Shifting Experiences

Will link a separate post here.

🍓 How I Shift

MEDITATION. I place a heavy focus on meditation and in fact meditate every day regardless of whether or not I intend to shift. I also listen to affirmations frequently throughout my day and make my own affirmations/repeat them when I remember to.

You do not technically NEED to meditate to shift but it is still an incredibly helpful tool- kind of like how you don't NEED utensils to eat food, but it sure is helpful.

Here is where I'll link a post about how I meditate/tips and tricks that have helped me as a neurodivergent person with a loud brain.

VISUALIZATION. For this part, I have to clarify that you don't need to visualize to shift- but I have hyperphantasia and literally do not know how nor can I conceptualize how to even think without visualizing what I'm thinking about. If you cannot visualize, from my understanding, it is still possible to think about these things, they just don't have images? It's hard for me to grasp not visualizing so for the non-visualization version of this I recommend doing your own research/finding another person who knows how to shift without visualization.

Since I shift at night when going to bed or when I'm about to take a nap and I always script that I'll wake up in my DR/WR, I visualize my DR/WR bed or wherever I plan on waking up. Like I'll visualize how the bed looks, how the room looks from my perspective. Once I have a clear image of it in my mind, I'll start running through my day. Like I'll visualize getting up and getting ready and so on. While I'm "getting up and getting ready" I start focusing my five senses on my DR surroundings- how does the bedding feel? How does the floor feel against my feet? When I brush my teeth how does that feel? I also very deliberately avoid thinking of my CR/CR body. If for whatever reason I'm reminded of it (an itch or a sound or whatever) I quickly brush it off and go back to focusing on visualizing my DR.

LAW OF ATTRACTION. Tbh this one kinda happened accidentally; I learned about LOA much later into my shifting journey and after I had shifted the first time. I didn't end up learning more about it until around the time I started shifting more successfully at will and was kinda like "oh I've been doing this, I just didn't realize this was what it was called."

For LOA, you gotta really live in your "imagination" because when you know something is true in your imagination it will be true in your 3D. So when I was visualizing so intently, I was making it true in my imagination so it was true in my 3D.

I also accidentally very aggressively affirmed? Every time I attempted shifting/shifted I always went at it with the full intent of "I'm going to shift, there is literally no other option. Oh, it failed before? That's fine, that was just practice. Look how good I am at meditation now. Look how good at visualization I am now. I've learned how to be a great shifter and I'm going to shift."

I did not leave room for doubts or distractions, deliberately paid more attention to my DR/4D experience than my 3D experience, and firmly affirmed that I would shift and so I did.

I FORGAVE MYSELF. Honestly, I should have placed this one first. I see so many people on so many platforms say things like "oh I suck at meditation or focusing on my 4D/Imagination. I always get distracted."

It's okay to get distracted. Look, you can move around, scratch and itch, do whatever you need to to get comfortable- none of that is gonna stop you from shifting.

Any time I had an itch I just scratched the itch and returned my thoughts to my shifting. If I noticed my thoughts wandering I just dismissed them with my next exhale and returned my attention to shifting. I didn't get mad or frustrated at myself.

These things are gonna happen regardless and it takes practice to meditate and focus your mind on a specific subject. It's human nature. Rather than getting angry at yourself, accept that distractions happen, dismiss them, and return to your shifting process. Repeat every time a distraction happens. Eventually, distractions happen less, and it gets easier and easier to keep your mind on meditation and visualizing.

🍓What is Hyperphantasia?

The exact opposite of aphantasia.

When I think about something or visualize something I experience vivid images/"videos" of it in my mind. For example, if I think of a meme I "see" it as vividly as if I was directly looking at the meme.

It is NOT the same as photographic memory. I have a normal memory, I just visualize things as clear as they are irl. Like I can visualize my bedroom perfectly because I see it every day, but if I saw a photo of a bedroom on social media and then tried to recall it I would be able to "see" the bits that stuck out the most to me (like maybe the bedding or a cool lamp or mirror) but I wouldn't see the whole bedroom if that makes sense.

🍓What is Aphantasia?

The exact opposite of hyperphantasia.

People who have this don't "see" images or anything when they think of things.

They just think them I guess? I have a hard time understanding it tbh.

🍓 "I Think I've Seen One of Your Posts Somewhere Else!"

Yeah, I'm cross posting. You might notice some differences in phrasing/grammar cuz I'll be editing the posts as I transfer them over.

I will add more as time goes on if I notice people asking more and more things 🍓

[fukanouna]

stay here (stay close)

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Natasha Romanoff

Rating: G

Word Count: 771

A/N: Written on three hours of sleep and a 16oz cold brew so please bear with me. Also posted on AO3 in my drabble collection.

-----

While tracking down the remaining members of the STRIKE unit that were HYDRA in disguise, Steve led the team to infiltrate their temporary base. Wanda was paired with Natasha, tasked with assisting the former assassin to sneak into their surveillance room to cut the cameras and their line of sight to the other Avengers.

Wanda thought she and Natasha took down all the men in the room. Wanda should have been more aware of her surroundings. She failed to notice one conscious man who ran out of the room before either she or Natasha could stop him from throwing a grenade into the cramped room.

But she did manage to use her powers in time to bring Natasha close to her, holding the older woman close to her as she shielded them from the blast.

Her ears rang painfully as the explosion surrounded them and the room collapsed in. Her eyes flared red as she used all her mental strength to keep the scarlet force field up. Once the clouds of dust cleared, Wanda believed they got through it unscathed.

Until she heard Natasha hissing in pain in her ear.

Wanda's eyes landed on the redhead's left leg that was bleeding through an open tear in her suit.

"Stray debris," Natasha rasped. "Something sharp cut me and hit my leg."

Wanda's eyes widened with panic. "Natasha…!"

The Russian cut her off with a dismissive wave but inhaled sharply to stop another pained hiss from escaping her lips. "I'm fine. I'm not bleeding much but I think my leg is broken. That's what hurts like hell…"

Using her powers, Wanda hovered a glowing palm across Natasha's injured leg. "Your left fibula is fractured…" She cursed herself for not being careful enough. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't fast enough. I'm sorry I couldn't--" A gentle touch to her cheek cut Wanda off, and she found herself staring into Natasha's eyes.

"Wanda, stop. I'm fine." When Wanda didn't look convinced by her words, Natasha gingerly cupped the younger's face in her hands and gazed deeply into her eyes. "Listen, I'm alive thanks to you. You saved me and I'm grateful to you. So please, don't fret over this small injury, okay?"

Wanda bit down on her tongue to stop herself from protesting, and instead, focused on the way Natasha touched her, finding the gesture to be warm and intimate, even through the leather gloves the spy wore. "Okay," she finally said, relenting.

"Good girl," Natasha softly teased, smirking a bit when she got an adorable reaction out of Wanda. "I've already sent a distress signal to Steve. He should be able to get to us soon. Don't suppose you have some painkillers on you though."

The brunette shook her head. "I don't." A pause. "However, I can temporarily numb your pain receptors but it requires me to use my powers on you." She held her breath when Natasha's piercing eyes were on her as she contemplated the option.

"I trust you," Natasha said after a moment. "I can tolerate the pain but it's becoming more of a nuisance at this point. Can't focus on anything but my fracture."

With a nod, Wanda's eyes emitted a soft scarlet glow and a tendril of red flowed from her fingers and seeped into Natasha's mind. The spy didn't know what to expect, and had to force her bodily instinct to stop acting on fight or flight response from the foreign sensation she could feel entering her consciousness. After awhile, her body began to relax and she couldn't feel the pain anymore.

"Wow, that worked really well. Where have you been all my life?"

"Locked up in a HYDRA lab in Sokovia," Wanda joked wryly then helped Natasha to her feet, placing an arm around the redhead's waist and Natasha's arm over her shoulder.

"I think your magic is better than drugs," Natasha remarked lightly.

"Perhaps, but the effect is only temporary and the duration is shorter the farther you are from me."

Another smirk curled on Natasha's lips. "Well. I'm sure we can make some arrangements so you're always close to me."

Heat returned to Wanda's cheeks, but fortunately she didn't have to respond to the latter's teasing words as Steve and Sam found them.

Steve asked Natasha if she needed to lean on him, but she insisted on leaning on Wanda instead.

After the mission was a success and the team returned to the Quinjet, Wanda was so relieved to know that Natasha and her leg would be okay, but she began to wonder if she'd be able to survive anymore of Natasha's teasing.